Monday Blues

I never really thought much about Mondays.. especially when many of my friends and such complain about Mondays every.. err.. Monday. (=_=); I always assume everyone including myself sometimes, that Monday blues is just everyone being lazy on the first day of work after the weekend partying.

Boy, was I pretty wrong when I woke up this morning. I had a serious case of the blues. I didn't have enough sleep.. or shoulw I say "proper" sleep, all thanks to you-know-who.. little crybaby Hayden. He has been exceptionally fussy and cried alot on Saturday and Sunday. *sigh* There goes my weekend. He has been waking up frequently in the middle of the night (and mornings), not just waking up, but screaming his lungs out just as soon as he is even partially awake. I have been jolted out of my slumber (and I was having a great dream at that point) so many times until I just mechanically feed him and try putting him to sleep again.

Now, here I am, at work on a Monday morning, and looking like I have smoked up a ton of weed. I have a decent migraine and on top of that my computer screen looks like a blur mass. And I need to review games the whole day! (Some people might shoot me in the head for complaining about playing games during work time). But it really sucks.


Well, enough of my ranting. I need to go get a caffeine fix. My brain is seriously not in proper working condition right now, I am even making lots of typo errors. (=_=);



<-- You wanna eat a knuckle sandwich??

Those Were The Days..

Ever since I became a wife and a mother, somehow I am looked upon much differently to others of the same age. I am now in the category of "old folks" especially since the birth of my son. Even going out with friends of the same age (or sometimes even younger) is not the same anymore. The worse is being mistaken by someone of the same age thinking that I am way older! *Sigh* Somehow I do yearn those good ol' days when guys way younger than me were hitting on me thinking I was their peer and club bouncers checking my ID thinking I was underaged. I guess soon I would be what my friends and I used to call "overaged aunties clubbing thinking they are still young".

I was wondering just recently how much has changed since my wedding and the birth of my son. I think secretly (or not..) I yearn for the time when I had few responsibilities and I was able to party and do almost anything I liked. I could get pissed drunk knowing the next day I can sleep away my hangover regardless whether I am missing dinner or not. I can fit into my tanks, minis and micros not worrying about having a hanging spare tyre. I can splurge all my salary on clothes, fine dining and lots of booze, not needing to worry about savings... *sigh*

Even though I do have the urge to do the weird, I guess it is about time I grew up. I have to give up my other pleasures to ensure I am a responsible wife and mother. I have to work my butt out just to feed the household. I guess everyone has to come to this point sometimes in their life.. although I do think sometimes whether I was forced to do this instead of choosing to do so. I do gripe at times that I was placed in this position by neccessity, and not by conscious choice. Of course I would try to console myself that I am really glad I have a husband who is somehow understanding and a cute little son, but then I do ask myself if I am going to regret anything later? Maybe not so soon but in the far future when I look back and wonder where have my youth gone?

Somehow it is rather depressing when I think this way. I know there is nothing I achieved in the partying and being a cock-teaser other than self-gratification and selfish pleasures, but as everyone knows it feels good to indulge in one's selfish wants and desires. But I keep telling myself that all that has happened did happen for a reason, and I seriously can admit that if I was not pregnant, I probably would have taken much longer to settle down. =_=;;

I guess everyone will come to the point where they have to grow some senses and start being an adult, instead of a willful child. I know for sure that I am already at my time. I am just still trying to get over the fact that I am not that young anymore. Call me vain or call me stubborn, but I am still trying to come to terms with the fact I am not a side of meat that the wolves would try to prey upon. but rather I am now expired product. HAHAHAHA!

First Day of Work!

Today was my very first full day of work! I had to leave lil Hayden with my parents for the meantime while I scout and search for a babysitter. For the first time I was away from my little fella from 10am to 7.30pm! It was exciting tho, to be able to start work and meet new people and challenges again. of course I kinda miss my baby and man! Did he miss me ALOT!

Hayden was pretty good the whole day (according to mom). However when I got back to him he was so happy to see me! I didn't expect to see a 2 1/2 month old lil fella miss his mommy so much. I thought they wouldn't notice that much yet but when he clung on to me and fussed and cried when I passed him to someone else (even his daddy), I realised he did notice that I was gone for quite a long time. Poor fella.. but he has to endure this tho. *sigh* Oh well.. Although I'm not cut out to be a full time housewife and mother, it is a bit pitiful to see my child having to leave his mom for long periods of time everyday.

I guess I never expected that I would feel like this.. and now it is only the first day away from him. haha.. I guess I'll miss him more when I will be working longer periods and every weekday.

Hmph. I also finally found a nice babysitter place that also does childcare. The price is abit steep though! Still trying to negotiate so hopefully she will take Hayden a she has alot of bookings as well.

So, time for me to zzz (and also give some attention to the hubby) since I'm still not used to this routine yet and it's making me tired pretty early.